Of course we have no one to blame but ourselves. We were once that idiot friend, weren’t we. Think about it. There was a time when you pursued your soul mate full on, sparing no expense or detail (whether you lost your man card or not). Then it happened….life. There are a myriad of things to blame it on, but I find that ministry has become a handy scapegoat. It sucks all of your time, money, and energy. Scratch that, it sucks all of your time, doesn’t give you any money, and uses your energy for such quality activities as chubby bunnies. It is a challenge to keep your wife at the top of your priority list, but I know we all agree it needs to happen.
I don’t know about your spouse or girlfriend, but my wife’s top two love languages are Gifts and Quality Time (I blame this on you too Gary Chapman – but that is a topic for another post). As any ministry veteran well knows, the two things that are most scarce are free time and cash – the very elements that are necessary for a successful Valentine’s Day extravaganza. Oh how many times I have failed to meet my wife’s needs in the name of ministry. How many fights we have had because I put more effort into my work and excuses than into listening to her deepest desires (that’s rhetorical dear, don’t answer that in the comments section). You see, and this is where I hope to help all my brothers in arms, I was missing the point…
IT’S THE SMALL (BUT BIG) THINGS: For a woman who loves gifts, an unsolicited presentation of her favorite candy bar means that you care enough about her to remember to get if for her. Words of encouragement are simple – a text message reminding her that she is just as beautiful today as the summer you met her is almost (I said almost) as good as a poem or sonnet. Acts of service – where to start on this one? Make her dinner or wash her car. If you are married, for lord’s sake pick up your underwear and vacuum once in a while.
THE KEY: The key to all of this is simply making sure you do the little things every day that show her she is cherished and most important in your life. Am I good at this?….not at all. It is a constant effort to make sure I am doing the little things. But I tell you what, if I would just focus on the simple things that make her feel special everyday than the pressure of Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be so great – and I wouldn’t be fighting with you for the last Hoops and Yoyo card at CVS. Here’s praying that you have a blessed Valentine’s Day.
P.S. This post has been proofread and approved by my wife.
John Fix
